Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
