I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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