smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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