Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
