oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize