census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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