you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
