your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
