Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
