so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
