Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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