I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
birth control should be required to get into college
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
