sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
We left the knife in your bed.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
