ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Randomize