my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
