I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
