so that wasnt chicken after all
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
