I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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