Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
