NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
