Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
