Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
