I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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