I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
