Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize