two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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