Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Randomize
