There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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