UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
