so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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