If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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