Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
