I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
