we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
