i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
