***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
