Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
