Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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