I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
