I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
