I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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