I wanna bring you to show and tell
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
