Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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