ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
