Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
