Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
time to smoke my breakfast
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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