i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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