Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
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