remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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