Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
