I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
