You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
and she was petting her beer can
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
