If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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