And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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