I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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