yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
