After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
