You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
