I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
