Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
