Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
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he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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