omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
