I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
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