come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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