You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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