he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
