One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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