Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
