I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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