Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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