i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm sobbing to NWA
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
