Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
